Already got asked if we're dating
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
