I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
