But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I think people are normalizing furries
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
