oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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