it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
