Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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