try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
