Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
