Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
