She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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