Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
