and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize