i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize