He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
