capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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