at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
