so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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