no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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