her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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