and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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