I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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