McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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