dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
