More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
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don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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