She went from zero to smokin in five shots
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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