whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She bit a glass in half.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
