Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize