I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
