he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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