go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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