I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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