Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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