guys are not supposed to queef...right?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
