I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
