is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
