last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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