Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
