But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
