Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
