We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
