You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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