Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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