it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
