Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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