just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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