Umm I'm too high to move.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
