that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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