I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
