i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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