So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
