We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
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he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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