Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
