I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
