My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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