you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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