i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
