This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
