he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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