I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
do nipples grow back?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize