if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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