no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
