is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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