just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
